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Food for Thought…Overcoming Fears in Kids

May 26, 2010 Leave a comment

I’ve been, of late, thinking about different fears that pervades little minds… The reason being, the uneasiness that I trace in my son while watching a particular ad on tv. Since past 2 weeks I find him crying out loud at the sight of an old man slapping a guy in that ad… Similar situation happens in yet another chocolate ad where a police man hits a burglar… He runs to me for refuge with tears rolling down his cheeks… First I thought that act of being beaten up by someone was scary for him. But in other instances where there is some stunt shown in action movies, he doesn’t seem to have that problem. He doesn’t care if one is hit by another or even a bunch of people… Then I thought it could be the background sound that comes with in that ad. After a pin drop silence, suddenly there’s a loud noise of a tight slap.

It could be either of these… Initial days were difficult to control him. I used to carry him and try to make him understand that he need not worry about it… After a lot of consolation and reassurance for days continuously, now he doesn’t cry for that…but will soon get curled up on my lap… If I’m in the kitchen, then he would run till the kitchen door and will stay there untill the slapping sound gets over… He just needs a support and ensures that I’m with him…

I think that is the best and the only way to help them get over their fears. Because we can never be sure of their imaginations until they grow up to voice their fears to us. Another important thing is to let them face it and get used to it. Fears can be different and they still differs from child to child. But the common ones like fear of darkness, heights, sounds etc can go off once they get used to it. I remember, when my son started walking, he wouldn’t enter a dark room alone. Even while sleeping we used to keep a baby lamp glowing for him. Later we started sleeping with all lights off. And now he doesn’t bother to hide in a dark room while playing… Another fear which is still recovering is for the pressure-cooker whistle. It has scaled down immensely, but he gets the hint that its going to whistle before me and alerts me “Ammaa…cookku..!”. I love it!

He got rid of his fears when he got used to them. And I’ve understood that its important for the parents to remain calm, cool and relaxed and reassure them that they are with them always… We should act normal to them. If they suspects that we too are scared or anxious about something, then kids too picks those cues from parents and its easy to get transmitted. Its important not to take their fears lightly, as it wont make them less fearful and would lower their self-worth and confidence in the long run.

Apparently, some fears are helpful too. As they would make the kids stay alert and makes them behave carefully and in a safe way. In my experience the most inevitable part is being patient and intuitive. Sometimes the more scientific way of handling a fear thought out from the head wouldn’t be of much help and something which we might intuitively feel could turn out to be the best solution… All that I have to say is to have faith and stay closer to God…for He can help us in deciding the best thing, or may be He just makes us bump into someone by coincidence, who can share a similar story… We never know…

Growing Tricky!

May 25, 2010 3 comments

These days my Manu is growing a bit more stubborn and adamant… No matter how much we try distracting him, he just woudn’t budge. The usual episodes of wailing and throwing tantrums happens over water. He insists on having water all on his own. Mostly the first sip will be the only one taken properly. In a matter of seconds rest will be spilled over the floor dripping from his dress. Or he will try to pour it into some plate or whatever he gets hold of.

Everyday after dinner it has become more like Appa’s duty to make him drink water. Manu will have his cup with a very little amount of water in it and R would try to feed with another cup. Sometimes it works. Sometimes he demands for a spoon to play with, pretending to feed us. When he is cranky, he would need both the cups and the spoon and still he wouldnt settle. If we try to snatch any of them from him, he would fall on his knees screeching and roll over the floor in complete repugnance… Sometimes it just goes on for a long time and needless to say that it goes beyond my forbearance threshold… And I would leave him all on his own, feign ignorance. It never bothers him. He happily continues what he was doing… Once he is done with it, then he’s back into action… as if nothing really happened… Very tricky sometimes!

When he feels that Appa is actually not happy with what he did or if he gets a little bit of scolding, even a stare for that matter he would suddenly toss off his mood and go to Appa flashing a sheepish grin… He knows certainy how to mend Appa’s temper and fall for him by showering kisses….

Categories: Manu-Scripting Tags:

Baby Story

May 24, 2010 Leave a comment

I hardly knew that this post was waiting in my drafts all these days….  It was long due…

1st July 2008  2:55  am!  It was a Tuesday morning…  He weighed 2.85 kgms. 

After all the hustle-bustle in the hospital for 2 days, it was decided to do a c-sec. I was rather satisfied with that decision as I just wanted to get over that situation… I’ve been waiting for  long…
I still remember that room, the table, lights…I’d seen all of those only in movies untill then.  I was expecting a normal anesthesia. Oh God!  I was so unaware!  But the prick at the spine was not so hard for me to bear.

After a few minutes, I heard a feeble voice…a cry… I could not believe my ears…. Finally I heard my little one’s sound for the first time…  My eyes were covered up with a dark piece of cloth.  I asked the doctor about my baby and she replied that its a baby boy and he is fine… 

Within minutes every thing got over and I was being shifted to a post surgery observation room.  On my way to that room, I felt my numb senses slowly recovered… That was hard…
I remember my hubby dear and  my mom had come to me… Visitors were not allowed there, but they insisted. I waved my hand on seeing them..to let them know that I was fine…
There was already one lady in that observation room. And after me, one more was brought in…  Then there was a chorus of unharmonious notes by the three of us until pain killers were tested and given.  After a short stay for about 1 or 2 hours, I was shifted back to my hospital room.

 I was eager to see my baby and there he was  all wrapped in a soft yellow baby blanket, sleeping blissfully.

Help!

May 18, 2010 Leave a comment

R being a doting father, it’s practically impossible for him to stay cool and calm especially when Manu is on his loose. Otherwise he is very patient and down-to-earth. From past few days Manu is having a potty-time problem. We are very much bothered about that as our little one never had such a problem before.

There are quite a lot of things which are not in our hands. May be we can just try to get over it or ease out. Whenever something goes wrong, or happens in a way not expected, R would always condemn on being such a hapless person. Even though he knows there are many other things which makes him happy, sometimes he just cant help getting exasperated…

Yesterday was one such day and I was trying to make him feel good. And in that gargantuan trial, I happened to say that he was too young to be a father. Needless to say how he felt… He was showing me sad smiley face every time  I looked at him. Thank God, today morning he has forgotten about all that and he’s hale and hearty.

Sometimes it happens…your actions or words just go beyond ones expectations… And we just land in a world of bewilderment!!!

Appa’s Little Man

May 9, 2010 Leave a comment

When Appa is around, Manu is more observant. He observes each and every minute details thoroughly and then imitates them the same way later. Manu would help Appa in carrying his socks to the shoe stand when Appa is getting ready for office. He rubs his tiny feet holding a pair of socks in his hands, as if he’s going to wear them. By any chance if he finds his own pair of small socks, he would do just the same. It’s amazing to see how he identifies and relates things.

Appa’s comb is yet another asset which Manu is very fond of. He holds the comb by its stalk and runs it over his hair just like appa does. He never forgets to brush-up his cute little lips, faking as his moustache…followed by patting the comb lightly on his palm to check if he has lost any hair strands. (Appa do it every time he combs, and will count the number of hair-strands he lost!)

Manu’s next big thing is to play with the laptop. Even if he is playing in the next room or watching tv, he would run to the computer when the start-up tone is heard. Then he would start pressing the keys or switching mute button or blue-tooth turning it on or off. Sometimes he just shut down the system itself… Eventhough its a menace when Manu is around the laptop, its fun watching him mouse clicking with his tiny little fingers or trying to plug-in the speaker/mike pins or pulling off the cable from USB port…completely focussing on what he’s doing….

Menu calendar for Manu

May 4, 2010 1 comment

From past 1 month I’ve started a new habit of updating my calendar with the menu I provide for my kid. People might think its ‘heights of joblessness’!!!
But I sincerely feel that its a good idea for short-term-memory-losing-moms like me to ensure that kids are being properly fed. Earlier I was much bothered about this and now..I’m NOT !!!

I insist on providing a nutritious diet which includes vegetables, fruits, milk, fish, meat, eggs, pulses and grains in adequate amounts. Yoghurt is a part of his every-day lunch. And I prefer to give him eggs every alternate days. So far…so good…

My next mission is to fine-tune his daily routines…starting from the time he wakes up till bed-time. I know its going to be very tough.. Ever since I’ve tried to implement my plans on him, he would’ve started another way of doing it!
I think before I fine-tune him, I better tune myself to fit in that… One thing I’ve noticed that whenever I plan for something, I prefer to jot down in a paper or a book… (cons of having had a career in software engg…!!! Sigh!!!) And my plan would look absolutely fine in paper….(‘Perfect’ I meant!) until an attempt is made to get in sync with that…
Good luck to me…

Categories: My Story, Random Thoughts Tags:

A page from my diary journal…

May 4, 2010 Leave a comment

A page from my diary which I could hardly resist posting out here… I could relive those emotions…

Sometime in the fall winter of ‘2009…

I’d gone for a coffee @CCD after a long time. I happened to see how crowded the campus is. I was just looking around for people, huge buildings, nice fountain deck near the coffee-shop, nicely curved pavements, lawns well maintained, weather soo gloomy…Everything was so perfect…

My eyes got tucked upon a huge gang of trainees. I could see them walking n running busy talking, or laughing at someone’s joke, gals giggling and some smoking. Some even found time enough to spare n spent in the corners or the shades with their dear ones.
Suddenly everything around got me a rare feeling!!! I felt I was missing something!!!
May be ‘friends’! I thought.
Yes true!!! Its friends. I’ve become friend’sick.
None of my friends are within my hands reach now. Ofcourse we do find sometime in our busy lives to catch-up with each other. But not like before.
How many hours….day n night have been spent lazing around talking n blabbering enjoying the life to the fullest! I miss those good old days!!! Time changes everything..Priorities too…

Looking at myself today… my profession, my life, my roles, being a responsible wife, a mother, a home-maker… How can I expect myself to spare much for ‘others’? Where ‘others’ meant more (much much more) to me once upon a time.
In my day-to-day life, I find myself busy with sooo many things, meeting deadlines, checking if my baby is growing up the way I expect him to, if my kitchen has all its groceries in store for the week, if my husband has his wardrobe ready till the weekend, If I myself am running out of something. Calling ‘Home’ n ensuring if all are doing fine, attending calls, making calls which I’m supposed to and at the end of the day, setting aside all those pile of things that I had to do and n put him to sleep and then trying to get some sleep for my own before he wakes up in the middle of the night n starts playing…..!